9:21 PM: I'm a dad. Almost.

So, after nearly 18 years, I finally have a little brother. My other sibling is technically a boy, I think, but any hint of testerone he once had is long gone. poor guy...

Anyways, my mother delivered Johnathan Pelham Parten today at 3:40 P.M. He had 10 fingers, 9 or 10 toes (how do they expect you to remember little details like that?), and isn't retarded, thank god. because retards suck. and if my brother was retarded, he'd probably suck. yeah.

He's got lots of brown hair, blue eyes, weighs 7 pounds and 2 ounces, and is 21 1/2 inches long.

He likes to suck his fingers, which is good, i guess, and doesn't cry much...i hope he's emo. or goth. yeah, goth.

anyway, he's officially not a douche...for now.

everyone who wants to come see him tomorrow meet me at 3:30 in the hospital lobby. I don't give a shit if I don't know you...babies are for everyone to share! plus, he will be behind glass, where he's safe from perverts and birdmen.

yeah, sorry for the lack of humor/assholeness in this post, but i've obviously been a little busy today. check back tomorrow for pictures/more observations.