9:45 PM: I'm an attention whore

*Warning: if you are easily offended, don't read this post. some people are turned off by masturbation, think it's evil, are masochistic, whatever. if you're one of these people, then the following post is not for you. check back later for a new update, and don't send me im's or e-mails telling me how offended you are*

Ok, let's talk about masturbation. I'll be the first to admit that I masturbate, usually between 2 and 5 times a week. It's a perfectly normal, natural thing, and every single guy at ahs, as well as over half the girls, i would presume, do it. Some choose to do it once a week and make it a tribal/ritual sort of thing, some people do it 3-4 times a day. It all depends on how much self control you have, and how horny you are. Even old people do it, don't let people trick you into thinking it's just a high school thing. I'm sure Honore's dad was seen as a god when he taught the fellow members of his tribe the joys of playing with yourself, and I'd be willing to bet that my grandpa still does it from time to time, out of sheer boredom.

Anyways, as I got all ready to spend some time alone, I realized something...I hadn't had sex with myself in over two weeks. Then I realized something else, that shocked even me...I didn't even want to play with myself. I did anyways, but that was for research purposes only.

Anyways, after I was done I thought something..."I wonder if I could go a month without masturbating." "What a brilliant idea!" i said back to myself. "Let's do it!" we said, and at that point, I decided that I, Matthew Parten, will abstain from masturbating or any form of self-stimulation until October 12th, the day after homecoming. I chose a sunday, so I could piss God off by jacking off on his birthday...what kind of asshole throws a birthday party for himself every week, by the way? Your birthday only comes around once a year. Good God, god is dumb..

What if I have a brief moment of weakness you say? I've already got that worked out...I've printed out and put up a picture of this guy:

in my room and, now, in my blog, so he'll keep me honest during my most private moments, i'm hoping.

Anyways, any support you want to give me will be appreciated. I am determined to do this, and am pretty sure I will be able to. I will keep you all updated on my progress through my blog.

brrrrrdman out.