11:11 PM: The Social Retard vs. Razdow Part Two: The Retort.

Inspired by a lack of creativity, fellow author Matthew Parten has declared a "blog war" between the Razdow Weekly and his site Confessions of a Social Retard.

I admit to this. No further comments. Except for the lack of creativity part.

Since Razdow has always prided itself on being both funny and original this will be our, or at last my, last comment on this bullshit.

The only thing you pride yourself on is being a fucking lard-ass. Go eat another twinkie and write another self-righteous blog post...hell, just go ahead and proclaim yourself super ultra master of the universe, you know you want to.

Razdow has decided to give away our contributing writer "Gordon Raindance" to Confessions. This exile was based on his performance, or lack thereof, on this website. You can see his stories from now on at the Confessions website.

Rollie is freelancing with me, because he's sick of Ulysses Dicksuck deleting/editing/stealing his stories, ideas, and sense of humor. Just because Rivers (excuse me...Ulysses) isn't original enough to keep up 1/3 of a sub-par blog doesn't mean you have to start finger pointing. grow up, cock cannibal.

As a creative and humorous person, I couldn't care less about this "war." However, I must say this,

You asshole licking monster. Seriously, copying our ideas is not cool. You are an untalented piece of shit. Your website is not funny, nor has it ever been funny. The best advice that I can offer to you is to crawl into a dark hole and die. That would be in the best intrests of the population of the planet Earth.

BLAH BLAH BLAH. you just described your own site and yourself in a nutshell. good job. now go get the mail.

Another thing, if you are going to write something about Razdow, please do so with out quoting Crank Yankers . "Deh Caulk?" That is just fucking childish. Say "the cock" if you are going to say "the" fucking "cock." Quoting a TV show Matt? Even I thought that you were funnier than that! But I guess not. Let's say on a funnyness scale from one to ten you were a 1. That Crank Yankers reference knocked you down to a -46. What are you a God damned novelty T-Shirt? Can I purchase you on the sale rack at Hastings? You twat.

I don't watch crank yankers, i've used this alternated spelling for quite a while, but believe what you will. Wait...aren't you the one who has blatantly copied maddox on nearly half of your posts? exactly. now wash my windows, they're getting fogged up.

But, alas, I must quote the great Sir Francis Bacon when I say that, In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.

I will retort by quoting one Golda Meir: "Don't be so humble - you are not that great."


Waffles are sounding really good right now...get on it, bitch.

moving on...

Razdow is superior to you Matt, and the sooner you learn this the better off you'll be. Now, go ahead, copy this as much as you want. Get your own quote. Actually, hell, you can use ours. We know you will. So, anyway, just suck a dick Matt. Write about us all you want. You can never become great like us. We're sorry.

You can lie all you want rivers...but just because you say it doesn't make it true. Great job, comparing a sub-par weblog/failed the onion clone to an actual person...dumbass.

By the way, I did a survey! The majority of "the flock" likes Razdow way better than Confessions. They also said they hated you, and would like to see a large wooden spear jammed into your colon.

Everyone fucking hates razdow now, it's time that someone actually came out and said it to your face (or at least typed it). it was funny for a while, and then the new issue of the onion came out. then everyone realized that BLATANTLY COPYING another site is dumb, especially when it's not even a hollow shell of what the original newspaper/site is. too fucking bad, you failed abortion.

Rollie, If you start being funny, an stop hanging out with the Bowden Park cool patrol, you can have your job back.

Rollie doesnt' want to come back. He just wants you to end yourself. So please, for the sake of all of us, kill yourself now. We could use the extra meat this winter.