11:54 PM:
you can't break a heart and have it!



Frank Black has recorded a brand new album as Black Francis, and it is drama in the church. I really hope this is indicative of what the next Pixies album will sound like. The signature pitch-Black scream from Surfer Rosa and Doolittle is definitely back, as are the dirty guitars, frantic hooks, and lyrics about animal dismemberment and spanish cocaine.

Black Francis - Bluefinger

blackfrancisBLUEFINGER
1. captain pasty
2. threshold apprehension
3. test pilot blues
4. lolita
5. tight black rubber
6. angels come to comfort you
7. your mouth into mine
8. discotheque 36
9. you can't break a heart and have it
10. she took all the money
11. bluefinger

blackVOCALGUITARHARMONICA
jasonDRUMS
danBASS
violetVOCAL

produced by mark

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10:52 AM:
Top 25 of 2006

25. T.I. - King


 I mean you know what I'm sayin' I done showed you how I feel

I put myself all the way out there you know

 The ball's in your court man, but I just got a question for you

...Is you happy??


24. Man Man - Six Demon Bag

/>

oh c'est la vie

please don't go and abandon me

 when the bridge burns down

and the bad blood tastes like wine


i stutter step my way across desert lakes

to try and sweat the ghost of the past

and lay my anchor at last

at your feet


23. Drive-by Truckers - A Blessing and a Curse



The secret to a happy ending is knowing when to roll the credits

 Better roll 'em now before something else goes wrong

No, it's a wonderful world, if you can put aside the sadness

 And hang on to every ounce of beauty upon you

Better take the time to know it

 If you feel anything at all

22. The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely



your house is depressing

 your house is dirrrrrty

 why don't you come outside a little while

 why don't you step out into the sun

 let me take you down

 let me ease you around

...montgomery!


21. Subtle - For Hero: For Fool
Like a large dollop of grey plopped hard

 in the plain water of hack,

 you sink...

20. Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - Etiquette



but before you let the room go to ice

 i remind you that the song on the radio is nice

 so let's just listen


19. Thom Yorke - The Eraser



The drunk machine

 Spitting nonsense

 Spitting feathers

 Talking in tongues

 Swiveling heads

 Splitting hairs


Who put it in charge?


18. TV on the Radio - Return to Cookie Mountain



I'm locked in my bedroom

so send back the clowns

 my clone wears a brown shirt

and I seduce him when there's no one around

 mano y mano, on a bed of nails


17. The Lovely Feathers - Hind Hind Legs



I was alone

Now I'm alone

All alone on the countryside

What am I doin?

What am i doin?

What am I doin on the countryside?


You made the wroooooong choice!


16. Ratatat - Classics



Well... wildcat was written in a kind of obselete vernacular...


... wildcat... wild... cat...


... pow... wildcat...



I'm going to go.


15. Yo La Tengo - I am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass



Hey Mr. Tough

 Don't you think we've suffered enough?

 Why don't you meet me on the dancefloor

 When it's time-to-find-it time?


14. Paul Brill - Harpooner

I'm so tired of these freaks

and their violent streaks

I have suffered the whims of these idiots

Paris. is. on.



13. Grandaddy - Just Like the Fambly Cat



I don't wanna be a part of all the quality that falls apart these days

 I'd rather make an honest sound

and watch it fly around

and then be on my way


I just wanna, I just wanna

 I just wanna elevate myself


12.Nas - Hip Hop is Dead



Hip-Hop been dead, we the reason it died

'cause we can't see ourselves as a boss

Deep rooted through slavery, self hatred

The Jewish stick together, friends in high places

We on some low level shit

We don't want niggas to ever win, see everybody got a label

Everybody's a rapper but few flow fatal

It's fucked up it all started from two turntables


11. Ghostface - Fishscale



Who wanna battle the Don?

 I'm James Bond in the Octagon

with two razors


10. Belle and Sebastian - The Life Pursuit



Get on your bike!

 Get on your horse!


9. Destroyer’s Rubies


She tasted of the Christmas wines and said:

So many things have run through me.

I know the altar boys, they just want to do me,

and that’s fine

You gotta have faith

Yeah, you gotta have it…


8. Jarvis Cocker - Jarvis


Well did you hear, there's a natural order

 Those most deserving will end up with the most

 That the cream cannot help but always rise up to the top

 Well I say, "Shit floats"
If you thought things had changed

 Friend, you'd better think again

 Bluntly put, in the fewest of words:

 Cunts are still running the world


7. Pants Yell! - Recent Drama


it doesnt make better sense

 more or less now that the lights turned off

 but who turned it off?

 not me

 i was out in the garden

 i was drunk in the kitchen

 i was changing the lightbulb by the stairs


6. Islands - Return to the Sea


In the corner of my room

When the cieling's feelin thin

I feel evil creepin in


5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones


It’s all over me, it’s all under me

 The face ain’t makin what the mouth needs


4. M. Ward - Post War



Rollercoaster, it was the best of times

 Rollercoaster, it was the worst of times, too

 Because you lift me up so high high high

 It's the most unbelievable ride


3. Lupe Fiasco - Food and Liquor


God bless the mothers

and younger brothers of hustlas

 Cuz she don't wanna sob at his wake

but he wanna follow in his step

Bang his hat, learn the shakes,
master his swagger in the bathroom mirror

Its just the problems we face

Look his mom's in his face and he promises he's straight



I'm cool, I don't foretell best

 I aint nicest mc, i ain't cornel west

 I am cornel west side, chi-town rivera

 Malcolm eXorcise the demons

 Gangsta leanin'


2. Girl Talk - Night Ripper


I stay strapped like car seats

 Been bangin since my lil nigga Rob got killed for his Barkley's

 That's 10 years I told Pooh in 95'

I'd kill you if you try me for my Air Max 95s

 I ain't have 50 Cent when my Grandmomma died

 Now i'm goin back to Cali with my Jacob on

 See how time fly?


1. Clipse - Hell Hath No Fury


To y'all ill-wishers who wanna take part

in me getting robbed, well follow ya heart

and I'll waste ya, hell I raised ya

 Even let 'em cheat from my paper

 Why does wealth make them hate me

 And make chick's hearts so achy-breaky?

 Rarely do I toot my own horn

 But y'all fellas got too far gone, now come back

|

2:06 PM:
On a trip to Portland, Maine I met some kids who felt the same/As we and we all agreed to write our journals in bed



2006 YURR END MIX

1. Ghostface f/ Sun God - Street Opera
2. Lupe Fiasco - Just Might Be OK
3. Girl Talk - Summer Smoke
4. Clipse - Dirty Money
5. Hot Chip - Boy From School
6. Paul Brill - Paris Is On
7. Ratatat - Wildcat
8. Jarvis Cocker - Black Magic
9. The Nice Boys - Teenage Nights
10. The Starlight Mints - Seventeen Devils
11. Pants Yell! - Kids Are the Same
12. Grandaddy - Campershell Dreams
13. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Dudley
14. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
15. Magnolia Electric Co. - Montgomery
16. Dr. Dog - Ain't It Strange
17. The Beatles - Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite/I Want You (She's So Heavy)/Helter Skelter
18. Nas f/ Jay Z - Black Republicans
19. Trae f/ Fat Pat - Pop Trunk Wave
20. Lil Wayne - Georgia Bush


G'S. HOODS. GUNS. CRACK.


I am working on my yearly top 25 albums post right now, and it should be up before the new year.

|

7:01 PM:
nothing says "9/11" quite like the buffalo bills spirit squad



|

3:52 PM:
When I was young, I was a fan of the Jackson 5



Bob Dylan - Modern Times

Great album. Bob Dylan sounds old and dignified on this album, and lyrically, he's as good as ever. He should probably stop with teh pop culture references though, as he's a few years behind on Alicia Keys (see Thunder on the Mountain).

Start With: Workingman's Blues #2

|

8:20 PM:
turn the tape off



click here to download the Radiohead Bonnaroo show in mp3 form


DISC 1
01. There There 05:52.49
02. 2+2=5 03:30.11
03. 15 Step 04:49.20
04. Arpeggi 04:25.62
05. Exit Music (For A Film) 04:45.53
06. Kid A 03:47.03
07. Dollars & Cents 05:16.32
08. Videotape 04:58.41
09. No Surprises 04:17.48
10. Paranoid Android 06:16.29
11. The Gloaming 03:42.54
12. National Anthem 04:49.17
13. Climbing Up The Walls 04:34.32
14. Nude 04:54.05
15. Street Spirit (Fade Out) 04:49.01
16. The Bends 04:25.40

DISC 2
01. Myxomatosis 05:06.34
02. How To Disappear Completely 06:24.48
03. encore 1 04:59.06
04. E1: You And Whose Army? 03:35.03
05. Pyramid Song 04:48.19
06. Like Spinning Plates 03:24.29
07. Fake Plastic Trees 05:18.46
08. Bodysnatchers 05:31.39
09. Lucky 03:57.27
10. Idioteque 05:05.13
11. Karma Police 04:49.09
12. encore 2 02:25.00
13. E2: House Of Cards 06:08.59
14. Everything In Its Right Place 08:30.4

After hearing it a second time, I can say definitively that this was the best show I've ever attended. Twas a religious experience.



My Morning Jacket's amazing late night set from Bonnaroo can be downloaded here (in mp3 form as well)


Intro
Wordless Chorus
It Beats 4 U*
What A Wonderful Man
One Big Holiday
Older Guys#->
Head Held High@
Lowdown*
The Way That He Sings
Masterplan
At Dawn
Golden
Gideon*
Xmas Curtain
Dondante**
Dancefloors
Anytime
Mahgeetah
A Quick One$**
Loving Cup%**
Attitude^**
Off The Record
Lay Low
The Dark
The Bear*
I Will Sing You Songs
Heartbreakin' Man
Evelyn Is Not Real**
It's About Twilight Now
It Makes No Difference
PHONE WENT WEST**
Run Thru

*With Andrew Bird
**KC Guetig on Percussion, Mike on guitar
#Flying Burrito Bros.
@Velvet Underground
$The Who, first time played
%Rolling Stones, first time played
^Misfits cover, first time played

My Morning Jacket rocked out every note of every song, I was blown away even as I fought off thirst and exhaustion for most of the show. They sounded like they had something to prove, which was unnecessary, but good for you and me. Their cover of 'Head Up High' at the beginning of the set and Dondante at the end of the first set were my favorites of the night. The whole show is amazing, though.

|

7:13 PM: Bonnaroooo

Saturday

Dungen
Panda

The Neville Brothers
Fire on the Bayou

Buddy Guy
live at LA House of Blues

Elvis Costello
Watching the Detectives

Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley
live in Hawaii

Gomez
Revolutionary Kind

Beck
Tropicalia

Les Claypool
Tommy the Cat bass solo

Medeski, Martin and Wood
live in Santiago (check up on it, vv)

Cypress Hill
I Ain't Goin Out Like That

Radiohead
Optimistic
No Surprises
Street Spirit

DJ Sasha
Waiting for ur Love

Dr. John
Back Home to New Orleans

|

10:57 PM: Manchester United

I thought I'd link a video on here for every notable artist performing at Bonnaroo this year.

Thursday/Friday

Andrew Bird
A Nervous Tick Motion

My Morning Jacket
Gideon

Seu Jorge (w/ Ana Carolina)
É Isso Aí

Ben Folds
Bitches Ain't Shit (C.U.N.T.)

Devendra Banhart
This is the Way

Steel Pulse
Ku Klux Klan

Bright Eyes
Let's Not Shit Ourselves
The Calender Hung Itself
awkward performance/interview on Craig Ferguson show

Oysterhead
Army's on Ecstacy (in Vermont!) (not the best quality recording)

Cat Power
Nude as the News

Demitri Martin
"Material Enhancers"


Robert Randolph and the Family Band
Austin City Limits Performance

Marah
Barstool Boys

Aziz Ansari
"google results"

Patton Oswalt
Guest spot on Dr. Katz

Tom Petty (w/ Prince and Jeff Lynne)
While My Guitar Gently Weeps (I wish Prince was playing instead)

Blackalicious
Chemical Calisthenics

Saturday and Sunday artists coming tomorrow, I guess.

|

12:43 PM:
Taking Sidez


Ice Cube: '[This bitch] Oprah Has a Problem with Hip-Hop'

WTF is wrong with thes stupid rappers, dont they know theymake blacks lok stupid withtheir sefish ignorance. So Oprah dont like rap, good for her, she is a well respected person who actually has and education unlike this community college GED rapper(s), who only know mathematics from selling drugs or watching scarface or something. oprah means more to me than luda, ice cube and fiddy, who are selfish because oprah wont let their drug slanging glorification ass on her respectable show. that show is 4 the best of the black community, i like rap, but dont start beeing big babies cause a high class person dusn't want thet ghetto mentality on her show. good for oprah, i know there are some rap sympathisers out there who think rappers cant do no wrong, but these selfish cry babies are out of order and should leave oprah alone, she already hated by TK 'nine-to-5' type people becaue she is a bit eccentric and likes to say she has money, so what, she gives away over half her earnings and that is commendable, she has put intelligent blacks that went to school thru college and made them doctors, lawyers which is a nice change from tapdancen, basketball or being a ignant ass rapper. she went on ed lover to even pay homage torappers ,she is offering an olive branch that these selfish, willfully bad gramma speaking, retarded ass dressing people do. go oprah, i love you, from a young whte man. we need to stop mollycuddle these rapers.

|

4:04 PM:
livin life in the carpool lane



you know that white girl who did a summer affair with me, well, she let me go in nio uncertain terms. i am heartbroken, wtf should i do. i men, on the reel, this was a YEAR AGO. btu this was my first time getting dumped and it is a motherfucker. i dont know what i did wrong. i think she used me to boast to her friends about how she is a playa. what should i do i cant believe i betrayed supportive ethnic girls for this woman. i was ready to marry her even after only 1 session. then she started saying she was busy all the time, and after watching Cheaters i knwe this was a bad sign. how do i get over this shit. i want white girs i've caught the bug i think they are really the promised land of women, mind you, not trailer trash versions, but educated ones with money, u know, high class. i am serios you think this is a joke i dont know how to pour out my feelings like some men on blogsdo but i am distraught. i feel like a peace of meat that a dog has just swallowed. i will never dump a girl so noncholant again i think i will commit suicide what should i do

|

6:23 PM:
Ghostface Killah interview



Earlier this morning, I followed a link from Largehearted Boy to a Ghostface Killah interview for the Onion A.V. Club. While I was reading it, I started to notice how silly and awkward most of the questions seemed to be for a hip hop interview, and how tossed off Ghost's responses were. The complete lack of chemistry between the interviewer and Ghostface leads to some hilarious exchanges:

AVC: What do you listen to?

GK: I listen to shit. I listen to old music, man.

AVC: Like soul music?

GK: Yeah, soul music.

AVC: Who are some of your favorite soul artists?

GK: [No answer.]


AVC: What was your life like before Wu-Tang Clan?

GK: I don't know. I was just like any other street nigga. I was robbing niggas, knocking niggas out, shooting niggas. That's how it was before Wu-Tang Clan. I'll do it again if I got to.


AVC: The Pretty Toney Album was credited to Ghostface, and Fishscale is credited to Ghostface Killah. What's the difference?

GK: It don't even matter. It's just names. People always get it twisted, you know, "Is this the Ghostface Killah?" Man, it's whatever-whatever, you can name me Shithead if you want. I don't give a fuck about all that. It's real, man. A name is a name, and I make music. My niggas know my voice even without the name. That's what it is.


AVC: Do you think that's changing? Is there anyone coming along right now that you're excited about?

GK: No, fuck hip-hop. I ain't feeling that shit right now. I don't even listen to hip-hop. I just do this shit because I gotta feed my family.


I love how the #1 rap album of the year was made by an artist who claims to despise the genre.

|

6:54 PM: possible new header



what'll it be? the teddy bear or the monkey?

i don't know how to make it any less blurry.

|

1:39 AM: Festival Express

Radiohead performing two new songs in Camden (London) on 5/1:

Body Snatchers
Arpeggi

40 days until Bonnaroo

from Ween's spring 2006 tour diary:

the club served us chicken francaise for dinner and after the show the empty tray was sittin there with only the sauce left in it, which had coagulated from sitting out all night. it was about 2 inches of oil and solidified butter, chicken skin, and fat. me and one of the bouncers were trying to convince a girl to get down on all fours and lick the butter and fat while we pissed in her shoes but we struck out. kids just don't know how to have a good time anymore.

89 days until Lollapalooza

|

11:27 PM: MAY DAY

a lot of people have asked me what I thought about the illegal immigrant protests all over the country today

for the record I do not support the war and the money we are spending on it

and I do not support the illegals and their right to protest how they are being treated in a country they inhabit illegally

yes I know we are all immigrants, we stole this land etc blah blah blah

well tough

if the mexicans want to tangle again I say bring it on but if we kick their ass again they better stay gone and no whining about it

it is all moot since we will be under chinese control before I am dead

I also support the death penalty and abortion the less losers on the planet the better

I am not a republican or democrat, I vote by how I feel on each issue

party lines are for pussies and idiots

|

11:20 AM:
Video of Daft Punk at Coachella



Found these on Youtube this morning, looks like it was a memorable show. The lighting effects for every song are amazing.

Not the best quality, but definitely watchable:

Around the World
Robot Rock
Face 2 Face
One More Time
light show in full effect
Technologic
Da Funk

also, some Go! Team footage:

Huddle Formation
The Power is On
Hold Yr Terror Close
Titanic Vandalism

one more: TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun

|

3:37 PM: Stephen Colbert gives Bush tha bizness

..at the White House Correspondent's Associaton dinner last night.

Stephen Colbert - the Che Guevara of journalism? Takes a lot of guts to roast the President on live television, especially while he's sitting five feet away, but he kept a straight face the whole time, and pulled it off. The crowd didn't really know how to react, so the speech is painfully awkward at times, but still hilarious.

clips available here (via Youtube)

Transcript:

Thank you ladies and gentlemen

Before I begin I've been asked to make an annoucement. Whoever parked 14 black bullet proof SUVs out front please move them they are blocking in 14 other black bullet proof SUVs and they need to get out

Wow what an honor, the white house correspondents dinner to sit here at the same table as my hero, George w bush, to be this close to the man, I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper that might not be enough somebody shoot me in the face [turns to bush] is he really not here tonight? Damnit, the one guy who could have helped

By the way, before I get started if anyone needs anything at their tables speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers, someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail

Mark smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Madame first lady, Mr. President. My name is Stephen Colbert and tonight it is my privilege to celebrate this president, 'cause we're not so different, he and I. we both get it. Guys like us we're not some brainiacs on the nerd patrol, we're not members of the fact-onista, we go straight from gut [turn to bush] right sir? That’s where the truth lies right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than in your head? You can look it up, now I know some of you are going to say I did look it up and that's not true that's 'cause you looked it up in a book, next time look it up in your gut. I did and my gut tells me that’s how our nervous system works. Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut. I give people the truth unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the no fact zone. Fox news [points to audience] I own a copyright on that term

I'm a simple man with a simple mind and I hold a simple set of beliefs that I live by.

Number one I believe in America, I believe it exists my gut tells me that I live there I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the pacific, and I strongly believe that it has 50 states. And I cannot wait to see how the Washington Post spins that one tomorrow

I believe in democracy I believe democracy is our greatest export, at least until china figures out how to stamp it out of plastic for 3 cents a unit. As a matter of fact ambassador [Chinese ambassador's name, no idea how to spell it], welcome. Your great country makes our happy meals possible. [Nervous laughter from audience, I think this is the point where everyone in the audience realizes the ride they're in for] I said it’s a celebration

I believe that the government that governs best is the government that governs least, and by these standards we have setup a fabulous government in Iraq [horrified laughter] and I believe, I believe in pulling yourself up by your bootstraps I believe it is possible I saw this guy do it once in circ de sole it was magical

And though I am a committed Christian I believe everyone has their right to their own religion, be it Hindu, Jewish or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe its yogurt but I refuse to believe it’s not butter

Most of all I believe in this president, now I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating, but guys like us [turns to president] we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking [gestures quotations with fingers] in reality, and reality has a well known liberal bias

So Mr. President, please pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half full. 32% means the glass is [pauses, laughs, turns to president] it's important to setup your jokes properly sir. Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means its 2/3s empty, there's still some liquid in that glass is my point but I wouldn't drink it the last third is usually backwash

Ok, look, folks, my point is that I don’t believe this is the low point in this presidency, but see I believe it is just a lull before a comeback. I mean it's like the movie Rocky alright, the president in this case is Rocky Balboa, and Apollo Creed is [pauses] everything else in the world. it's the 10th round, he's bloody, his corner man, nick, who in this case I guess would be the vice president, is yelling cut me dick cut me and every time he falls everyone says stay down rocky STAY DOWN, but does he stay down? NO, like rocky he gets back up and in the end [looks down] he actually loses in the first movie, hmm ok doesn't matter doesn't matter the point is the heartwarming story of a man who was repeatedly punched in the face

So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man has doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% of people approve of the job he's not doing? [Nervous laughter, one person applauds] think about it, I haven't

I stand by this man [turns to president]; I stand by this man because he stand for things, not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

Now there may be an energy crisis, well this president has a very forward thinking energy policy. Why do you think he's down on the ranch cutting that brush all the time? He’s trying to create an alternative energy source. By 2008 we will have a mesquite powered car.

And I, I'd just like to [turns to president] he's a good Joe, obviously loves his wife. He calls her his better half, and polls show America agrees [nervous laughter] she's a wonderful woman, but I just have one beef, ma'am [turns to first lady] this reading initiative, I've never been a fan of books. I don't trust them, all fact no heart. I mean they're elitists telling us what is or isn't true, what did or didn't happen, who is Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I wanna say it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American. I'm with the president, let history decide what did or didn't happen.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change, this man's beliefs never will. And as [pauses] excited as I am [turns to president] to be with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story. The president's side and the vice president's side. But the rest of you, what are you thinking reporting on NSA wire tapping, or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason, they're super depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished.

Over the last 5 years you people were so good. Over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn’t want to know and you had the courtesy not to tell us. Those were good times, as far as we knew. But listen let's review the rules, here's how it works. The president makes decisions, he's the decider, the press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put it through a spell check and GO HOME. Get to know your family again, make love to your wife! Write that novel you got kicking around in your head; you know the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration [nervous laughter, best burn of the night in my opinion] you know, fiction!

Cause really, what incentive do these people have to answer your questions after all. I mean nothing satisfies you, everybody asks for personnel changes, so the white house has personnel changes. And then you write oh they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic. First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking, this administration is soaring! If anything they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg [nervous laughter]

Now it's not all bad guys out there, there are some of the heroes out here tonight. Jeff Sachs, Ken Burns, Bob Scheifer [mispelled these no doubt] I've interviewed all of them [turns to president] by the way Mr. president, thank you for agreeing to be on my show. I really appreciate it, I was just as shocked as everyone here is I promise you. How’s Tuesday for you? I've got frank rich but we can just bump him, I mean [gestures with arm] bump him, I know a guy, say the word.

See who we got here tonight, General Mosley, Airforce Chief of Staff. We got General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, they still support Rumsfeld! Right, you guys aren't retired yet, right? right, they still support Rumsfeld [cut to picture of general, he does not look amused] look, by the way I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble. Don’t let them retire. Come on, we've got a stop loss program; let's use it on these guys. I've seen azini and that crowd on Wolf Blitzer. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows you're strong enough to stand at a bank of computers and order men into battle, come on! [No laughter]

Jesse Jackson is here, the reverend, haven't heard from the reverend in a little while. I had him on the show, a very interesting interview, a very challenging interview. You can ask him anything but he's gonna say what he wants, at the pace that he wants. It’s like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

Justice Scalia is here, Justice Scalia may I be the fist to say [gestures with hand under chin/fuck off gesture] welcome sir! [Cut to Scalia laughing heartily] you look fantastic! [More offensive hand gestures] how are you and??? Just talking some Sicilian with my pizon

John McCain is here. John McCain, what a maverick. Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you it wasn't a salad fork. This guy could have used a spoon, there's no predicting him. by the way senator McCain, so wonderful to see you coming back into the republican fold, I've actually got a summer house in south Carolina, look me up when you go to speak at bob Jones university. So glad you've seen the light sir.

Mayor Nagin, Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city. Yeah give it up, mayor Nagin I'd like to welcome you to Washington dc, the chocolate city with a marshmallow center [lots of laughs] and a graham cracker crust of corruption. It’s a malomar, I guess is what I'm describing, it's a seasonal cookie.

Joe Wilson is here, Joe Wilson right down here in front the most famous husband since Dezzie Arnez. And of course he brought along his lovely wife Valerie Plame [stops, covers mouth] oh my god. Oh what have I said, I... gee-manety, I'm sorry Mr. President I meant to say, he brought along his lovely wife, Joe Wilson’s wife. Patrick Fitzgerald’s not here tonight, right? Ok, dodged a bullet.

And of course, can't forget, the man of the hour, new press secretary Tony Snow. Secret service name, snow job. Toughest job, what a hero, took the second toughest job in government next to of course the ambassador to Iraq. Got some big shoes to fill Tony, some big shoes to fill. Scott McClellan could say nothing like nobody else. McClellan of course, eager to retire, really felt like he needed to spend more time with Andrew card's children. [turns to president]now Mr. president I wish you wouldn't have made the decision so quickly sir, I was vying for the job myself, I think I would have made a fabulous press secretary [points to audience] I have nothing but contempt for these people. I know how to handle these clowns. In fact sir, I brought along an audition tape, and with your indulgence I'd like to at least give it a shot. So ladies and gentlemen, my press conference.

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3:45 AM:
UNITED 93 REVIEW



Needs more snakes.

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5:53 PM:
Korn Porn



People cope with stress and loneliness in different ways



When some folks forget who they are, they visit a psychiatrist



Others brand themselves

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2:41 PM:
Don't panic...I've got jokes, too


Hey guys, have you heard about all those new Iraqi ska-punk bands?



Yeah, apparently it's part of their oi! for food program

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8:57 PM:
Come in Alone



Here's a nice little Spring Break mix, compiled mainly for the Orange Beach crew, but for everyone, really. Enjoy, have a great break, I'll start posting again when classes start back.

Spring Break Mix

1. The Clipse - Young Boy
2. Ghostface - 9 Milli Bros. (Featuring Wu-Tang Clan)
3. Beck - Pressure Zone
4. Daft Punk - Teachers
5. The Walkmen - The Rat
6. The Unicorns - Emasculate the Masculine
7. Rogue Wave - 10:1
8. The Futureheads - Hounds of Love
9. Jens Lekman - Maple Leaves (7" version)
10. Of Montreal - Kid Without Claws
11. M.I.A. - URAQT (Diplo Mix)
12. Grandaddy - Campershell Dreams
13. The Beach Boys - You Still Believe in Me
14. The Olivia Tremor Control - I Have Been Floated
15. Pavement - Range Life
16. Sloan - Everything You've Done Wrong
17. Pulp - PTA
18. The New Pornographers - Testament to Youth in Verse
19. Talking Heads - Pulled Up
20. Monster Island Czars - 1, 2 ... 1, 2 (same beat as track two)
21. R. Kelly - Sex in the Kitchen (remix)

Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed.

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2:27 PM:
topical, tropical



how about those mexicans you would not know mexicans existed in america if you just stay at home and watch TV, but mexicnas are what, 20% ofthe population?



I respect them, mostly because your average latina female is fine as a mother/fucker, GOD d man,i like hot mami's up in thismother. seriouly, lets be real, america is mexican and native american owned land, tell the real white people,. you really have no business here.



to be honest, we need to do like idi amin ( not a nice person ) and bounce you settlers ass out of here back to the greenland or wherever.



leave thisl and to the mexicans and blacks and even the asians also cause like jin say they built the rail roads. this shit south of ohio is all mexican to me, ask ice cube. i respect the turnout mexicans running shit in LA no one fucking with those gangs lets overturn this racist law that bush or whoever want to pass i'm sick offall the race baiting on FOx talking about terrorists from mexico or whatever



mexicans are my favorite race right now.

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