12:23 AM: "you turned that lump of coal of a comment into a diamond...a hilarious diamond."

yes, matthew parten has found a homecoming date. one mary clark, a nice, cute junior girl, who i assumed i tricked into going to homecoming with me by posing as a make a wish kid, and telling her that my one wish was for her to go to homecoming with me. ownt:



i knew if i waited for the right person/time, and came up with a clever enough plan to ask, someone would break down, and i was right.

now, on to phase 2: getting her to ignore her dreams of looking like a princess at homecoming and going hippy with me, or at least wigger:



and in other news, bandana boy is the coolest guy since the asshole dad from flashdance who wouldn't let the kids dance, but then broke down at the end, when he realized that dancing wasn't satanic and started dancing himself. fucking pimp.

i mean, he was SO FUCKING HIGH at 8 p.m., smoked 4 CIGS, had a coors REGULAR and wore both of his grateful dead shirts ON THE SAME DAMN NIGHT. and he had a belt buckle "that costs...like...$200 bucks, for sure."

bah. tonight sucked more than great white in concert.

funny story: i met a heroin addict high on his drug of choice at hastings tonite...he was trying to rape my personal ear cleaner, so i had to step in and tell him to back off. and he totally did. even though he was black. and high on heroin. i'm a fucking goliath. and i spent 2 hours bored to tears at a fucking park...what a wonderful mix or R/PG rated fun.