10:40 AM: I'm having a party in my pants, and you're invited.

So yesterday afternoon, I was looking at porn for a little while, then looked down and noticed something...I had no erection whatsoever. I was looking at fucking porn, and was not aroused in the least bit. Fair enough, I say, I'm probably not in the mood. Whatever.

Then, at about 1:30 AM, after the heroin addicts, the park, the shady dealing, etc., I'm watching this woman making some kind of dessert on the food network, look down, and notice that i'm sporting wood, and not like that half-assed partial wood, but a complete summation of wood.

What does this say about me as a person, you ask?

I have a few theories:

1. My singular attraction to one and only one girl throughout high school has castrated me to the point where i'm no longer interested in sex. I'm seriously not physically attracted to any girls anymore, save 1 or 2. I'm the single most shameful heterosexual you'll ever meet.

2. I subconciously knew that my grandma was in the house when I was looking at the porn (she actually was...whew).

3. Every way you look at it, this:

will always be more appetizing then the female figure.

4. Despite the fact that I lost weight, I'm still a fatass glutton at heart.

5. I really shouldn't admit stuff like this to the entire world via weblog.