1:54 PM: Matthew's Interview Series: Part I

Meet Peabs, the most self-referential blogger in cyberspace. This man's blog reads like the most comprehensive auto-biography ever written. A member of the Whatevs/Detroit blogging community, Peabs has coined many famous words, that are slowly but surely becoming accepted and used by the super-ultra-hip: 'obvs,' 'bovs,' 'whatevs,' 'durst,' and 'shmears,' just to name a few. He's like a white Snoop Dog.

I had a nice chat with the legend himself today, and learned a few new things about our beloved Peabs:

Hello, Peabs. Anything you want to get off your chest before the
questions start flying, rapidfire stizz?

Peabs just dropped a half a sheet of acid, and I'm pretty sure I just fucked the entire cast of "One Day at a Time" with a 4 foot dildo. Shmears.

So, you're part of the Whatevs blogging community/group orgy (Whatevs,
So Sayeth the Peabs, Stereogum, Ultragrrrl, So Says I,
etc.), one of the most successful groups of blogs not based in NY or
LA. How's it feel to be a pseudo-celebrity?

I don't really consider myself to be a blogger, per se. Peabs is more like an idol; a poster-child for America's disillusioned, drug-addled youth. And I'm not a "pseudo" celeb, Matt. I won the fucking Pulitzer Prize in 1956; was named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive in 1995. I think that garners a bit more than just "pseudo" status. Obvs.

Do you ever get into any real life fights with your blogging friends
over something you've put on your blog? How ugly has it gotten?

Never. Unless they've tried to scam me on blow or something ridiculously important like that. Duhvs.

Gawker or Gothamist?

Hmmmmmm. Tough one. Probs Gawker because Foxy Jazz and yours effing truly had a scorching affair for years, and I miss the way she used to fingerfuck my asshole. And the way we used to cuddle after giving each other Mali enemas. Schmobvs.

You shut down your blog a few months ago, only to restart it within a
month or so. What made you decide to bring it back?

Peabs was bored. The internet was dripping with ennui. People's lives were crushed when I left. I felt it was the least I could do. I mean, shmears, Peabs understands my importance and relevence in American pop culture. I didn't think it was going to cause the entire effing country to go into a Depression. Plus, my numbers were going down. Oh, lest we forget I'm a self-obsessed attention whore. Robvs.

How's the Obvs in '04 campaign going? Is Bill Cosby still on board as VP?

Fucking tigs shats to the boombies. Dr. Bill Cosby will never leave my side. He's the reason why we're as popular as we are today.

Speaking of obvs, where did all this 'bovs, obvs, whatevs, durst,
shmears, schmobvs' lingo come from? I still can't honestly say that I
know what all of it means...

A good part of it was created when Peabs was bored in college. Upon the first meeting of yours effing truly and Uncle Grambo, I dropped an "obvs" on him, and the rest is history. He started whatevs.org, I kept feeding him more vernacs and began a campaign for the Presidency. It's clear that we're fucking geniuses with lives much more interesting than anyone else's. Duh.

Fred Durst or Fred Flinstone?

Flintstone. He, like myself, fucked Wilma. Mmmmmm, Wilma.

Bloggers usually tend to underestimate their readership. Have you ever
been recognized from your blog on the streets of Detroit?

Every day. I'm arguably the most recognized man in the world behind Jesus Christ and the guy who played Johnny in "The Karate Kid."

Tell us about the last show you attended in the D, and how it went.

The last show I attended was performed by this avant-garde experimental group named Golpe Me, which means "blow me" in spanish. Needless to say, the audience left soaked in jazz. Hotness.

Now, give me a hug.

Only if you ess my trademarked D.

Now, that went well, didn't it? Stay tuned for more interviews, once I figure out how to force interviews out of famous people.