3:06 AM: Itunes Blues

Apple, you've got everything in the world going for you. You're a tech company with a soul, you're fighting the good fight against Microsoft, and you've released one of the greatest gadgets of the last decade, the Ipod.

So why do this to me, to yourself, to everyone?:

Jennifer Garner's workout mix, as seen on the Itunes music store frontpage. Note that this list was rewritten exactly as it appears in the Itunes music store, superficial comments, capitalization, and all:

1. The Way You Move-Outkast

"this is a great song to either warm up or cool down to. it makes me really want to move!"

2. Daughters-John Mayer

"john mayer is one of my favorites so i had to include him in my workout mix!"

Fallin'-Alicia Keys

"she is so talented! i love how she plays the piano. and her voice is incredible."

4. What You Waiting For-Gwen Stefani

"this is a great song to workout to! It really gets me going. and the video is awesome."

5. Crazy in Love-Beyonce

"this song really gets me going!! it makes you want to dance."

6. Rock Your Body-Justin Timberlake

"anything justin timberlake is good to work out to!! and I love the beat to this song!"

This Love-Maroon 5

"i really like this song. maroon 5 is a great group and it's a good song to sing along to."

8. Get the Party Started-Pink

"this song is just so fun. she makes me really want to move when i hear it!"

Yeah!-Usher!

"this is a great song for working out!! and usher is an amazing dancer."

Loose My Breath-Destiny's Child

"this is a great new song. all these girls are so talented!!"

Turn the radio off and never go near a keyboard again, Jennifer Garner.

...does everything Ben Affleck touch go to shit?