11:11 PM: Another stupid list.

Rolling Stone just released their "definitive" list of the top 500 songs of all-time. As is always the case when Rolling Stone releases a list, they got everything wrong. Numbers one through five all belong somewhere in the top fifty songs of all time, but after that, it's fair game. Want stupidity? How about "Lose Yourself" by Eminem being 166th on the list, nearly 300 spots ahead of The Velvet Underground's "Heroin" (considered the 15th best song of all time by VH1). If that's not enough to convince you, I'll go ahead and list off a few more songs that Rolling Stone believes are among the 100 best songs of all time: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana (9, blatant Pixies ripoff), "Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley (19, a horrible song by a horribly overrated singer), "One" by U2 (36, shut up Bono, no one in America cares about AIDS), "When Doves Cry" by Prince (52, marked the height of homo-generic 80's shit-pop), "When A Man Loves A Woman" by Percy Sledge (54, corny corny corny), etc. There are many more examples, but you get the point. Rolling Stone oversells the historical importance of old, irrelevant icons (Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, The Ronettes, Tina Turner), and is far too quick to latch onto overrated mainstream rock bands (Nirvana, The Eagles, Rod Stewart). Combine that with only token recognition of the many great bands that have flown under the pop-culture radar, and you've got one of the most deplorable "definitive" lists ever conceived.

To compensate for Rolling Stone's musical ignorance, I've decided to make a list of my own: The top five songs from each of the last five decades. Obviously, personal opinion will skew my list heavily at points, but that's only because music is so subjective. It's easier to list off my view of the best songs of every decade then to try to please everyone, as Rolling Stone attempts to do with every list.

Today, I ranked the top five songs of the first half of the 00's. Plenty of good albums have been released since 2000, but very few truly "great" albums have made it to the pages of magazines like Rolling Stone. After Kid A by Radiohead, Speakerboxx/The Love Below by Outkast, and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by Wilco, very few great albums have been exposed to the public. Hopefully these five songs will restore your faith in music again, after being forcefed "music" from the likes of Ashlee Simpson, B2K, Chingy, and Creed for the last few years.

Note: I pasted the lyrics to each song below, because to fully appreciate some of these songs, you need to pay attention to the lyrics. Click on any of the song titles to download them. The songs will only be available for download for one week.

1. Radiohead-Idioteque

Who's in a bunker, who's in a bunker?
Women and children first
and the children first
and the children
I laugh until my head comes off
Swallow until I burst
Until I burst
Until I...
Who's in a bunker, who's in a bunker?
I have seen to much
You haven't seen enough
You haven't it
I laugh until my head comes off
Women and children first
And children first
And the children

Here I'm alive
Everything all of the time
Here I'm alive
Everything all of the time

Ice age comin'
Ice age comin'
Let me hear both sides
Let me hear both sides
Let me hear both
Ice age comin'
Ice age comin'
Throw 'em in the fire
Throw 'en in the fire
Throw 'em on
We're not scare-mongering
This is really happening, happening
We're not scare-mongering
This is really happening, happening*
Mobiles squirking
Mobiles chirping
Take the money and run
Take the money and run
Take the money

Here I'm alive
Everything all of the time
Here I'm alive
Everything all of the time
Here I'm alive
Everything all of the time
Here I'm alive
Everything all of the time

The first of the children
The first of the children
The first of the children
The first of the children

*Sound Familiar?

2. Wilco-I am Trying to Break Your Heart

I am an American aquarium drinker
I assassin down the avenue
I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
What was I thinking when I let go of you?

Let's forget about the tongue-tied lightning
Let's undress just like cross-eyed strangers
This is not a joke, so please stop smiling
What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?

I want to glide through those brown eyes dreaming
Take it from the inside, baby hold on tight
You were so right when you said that I've been drinking
What was I thinking when I said good night?

I want to hold you in the Bible-black predawn
You're quite a quiet domino, bury me now
Take off your Band-Aid because I don't believe in touchdowns
What was I thinking when I said hello?

I'd always thought that if I held you tightly
You'd always love me like you did back then
Then I fell asleep and the city kept blinking
What was I thinking when I let you back in?

I am trying to break your heart
I am trying to break your heart
But still I'd be lying if I said it wasn't easy
I am trying to break your heart

Disposable Dixie-cup drinking
I assassin down the avenue
I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
What was I thinking when I let go of you?

loves you
I'm the man who loves you



3. Outkast-Hey Ya!


(like you need to read the lyrics to this song...anyone under the age of 35 that can't sing this whole song by heart is either lying or dead inside)

4. The Microphones-The Glow

the blow came down from the hills
followed by snow
ohhh ohh
the snowy blow

i could feel far off the glow
and i made my way through
september and the next, month
towards the glow

i moved slow
down from the hills
i'm getting cold
buried in snow

[hey wake up it's me the glow
wake up and listen close
warm up and come down through the hills
towards the warm red lamp window]

i started to glow!
ohh oh
and it felt just like
being pulled out by the tide
i held on to your sides
we swam 'til it got light
cause the blue was deep and wide

into light our bodies glide
there was water in my eyes
we sank and we arrived
and found ourselves inside the light
the light
with the glow...

on the cold dark ocean floor
i felt warmth from behind a door
i asked to come inside
and the glow replied

If beauty can be heard, then this is it. If you get bored with the song in the first minute or so, fast forward to the 4 minute mark, when the song really starts to kick in.

5. Dntel ft/ Ben Gibbard (The Postal Service) - (This is) the Dream of Evan and Chan

It was familiar to me, the smoke too thick to breathe.
The tile floors glistened; I slowly stirred my drink.
And when you started to sing, you spoke with broken speech
That I could not understand, and then you grabbed me tightly.

I won't let go, I won't let go. Even if you say so, oh no.
I've tried and tried with no results. I won't let go, I won't let go.

He then played every song from nineteen ninety three.
The crowd applauded as he curtsied bashfully.
Your eyelashes tickled my neck with every nervous blink,
And it was perfect until the telephone started
Ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing off...

Not many songs kickstart new genres these days, but this homo-erotic collaboration between Dntel (aka Jimmy Tamborello) and Death Cab for Cutie's Ben Gibbard started the new sub-genre being labled by some as emotronica, or emotional electronically produced music.



Tomorrow, I will reveal my top five songs of the 90's. should be interesting. Agree with my list? Vehemently disagree? Tell me your top five in the comments section...I'm interested to know what songs released in the last 5 years you guys think will stand the test of time.