12:06 AM: New Found Glory-Catalyst

Drive Thru/2004

Fuck New Found Glory. Since 1997, they have been putting out incredibly bland pop-punk for 14 year old girls. Well, those girls have grown up now, and know redundant whiny bullshit when they hear it. Thus, New Found Glory finally attempts to grow up on their newest album, Catalyst. They fail miserably of course, but for a few brief moments, they aren't quite as horrible as we've come accustomed to them being.
Catalyst actually begins rather well with the appropriately named "Intro." NFG channels NOFX, and tries to render their previous sound obsolete in the span of 40 seconds, with crunching guitars, ferocious drumming, and lines such as "We're not the same" and "You'll never get respect." It's very refreshing to hear a band this popular try something new, when they could easily put out another shitty disc and go double platinum, but the excitement doesn't last for long. The next, even more appropriately titled "It's All Downhill From Here" completely reverts NFG back to their formal self. Seemingly creatively exhausted after writing a full 40 seconds of quality punk, they return to their original $ound, repeated four note riffs, whiny singing, predictable lyrics, and all. The rest of the songs are variations on "It's All Downhill From Here," with even more frighteningly appropriate lyrics. It almost sounds as if they're making fun of themselves when they sing: "You’re making the biggest mistake of your life" in "Doubt Full" (get it? it's funny because they used two words to spell 'doubtful' instead of one!) Putting out an album this poor might turn out to be the biggest mistake of NFG's career, but sadly, this album will probably be a multi-platinum success, regardless of the quality. Again, fuck New Found Glory.