10:44 PM: Photographic Evidence

Yes, I'm still alive. I know many of you were unsure, since I've taken so long to actually write a real update, but I'm back for good. I promise. I've been...predisposed lately, but I have the computer back now, and I'm just itching to entertain you with my rants and observations. I hope you're ready.

And now, empirical evidence that I still exist:

Wow. I haven't been this excited since I was in Richard's position in the church library all those years ago. Extra points for the Matrix like hand effects I employed in the picture.

I stand by my opinion that my beard makes up for any homoeroticness the pink shirts, groping, and suggestive glances my give off. I'm not sure how I learned to pose in such a realisticly pansy-ish way.

If my career in writing doesn't work out, I always have my homosexual orthodox jewish routine to fall back in. It absolutely kills in nursing homes, synagogues, and rehab clinics.

Chandler isn't fooling anybody.