12:38 AM: Cigarettes are bad for you.

Tar isn't good for you, either.

If you feel a tumor, more than likely, it's there.

Sweaters aren't to be worn between the months of April and June, by gentlemen, that is.

If you can't see it, try not to touch it more than once. The second time, you lose the element of surprise.

Don't sing no folk when you're in the mood to sulk. Sammy C. doesn't like a party pooper.

Don't forget anything that you want to remember. It kind of defeats the purpose.

Don't tie horseshoes to tricycles. Much. The joke gets old after 2 or 3 times.

The pixies are overrated.

So are Phish.